Befriending the Inner Critic - Becoming Self-Led as an Olympian Swimmer

As someone who believes strongly in the power of Internal Family Systems (IFS) to improve both mental well-being and performance, I recently came across Caeleb Dressel’s story, and it perfectly illustrates how transformative this approach can be, even at the elite level. Caeleb, with 10 Olympic medals to his name, has dominated the pool with incredible achievements. Yet what struck me most was his openness about the challenges he faced with his inner critic. Hearing an athlete of Dressel’s calibre directly address the need to change his relationship with these parts of himself really resonated with me, and I felt the need to share his journey.

Dressel’s story highlights how shifting from being driven by self-criticism to becoming more self-compassionate can profoundly impact an athlete’s mental health and performance. IFS offers a way to transform this inner critic, helping athletes become self-led—leading to success and well-being in sport and beyond.

The Inner Critic: An IFS Perspective

In IFS, the inner critic is viewed as a protective ‘part’ of our psyche—an internal voice that, despite its harsh tone, has good intentions. These inner critics often emerge from early experiences where we felt vulnerable, unsafe, or unloved. They take on the role of a protector, using shaming or critical language to prevent future pain or failure. Although their methods can be tough, their ultimate goal is to keep us safe and loved.

In the high-pressure world of elite sports, this inner critic can become especially loud and dominant. It’s often fueled by external feedback, such as from demanding coaches. For example, Dressel has shared how his coach would immediately point out areas for improvement, even after an exceptional performance. Over time, this kind of external critique can get internalized, and the athlete starts adopting the same critical stance toward themselves. This can lead to perfectionism and an obsession with avoiding mistakes.

In sports, the inner critic often shows up as a perfectionist. It pushes athletes to constantly strive for improvement but also causes significant mental and emotional strain. This voice demands perfection, leading athletes to scrutinize their performance for flaws, even when they’ve just achieved something remarkable. It can foster a persistent sense of inadequacy, making athletes feel that their efforts are never enough, which erodes their self-esteem. Additionally, it can lead to an unhealthy obsession with improvement, causing athletes to overlook their successes and focus solely on their shortcomings.

For Caeleb Dressel, this inner critic played a significant role throughout his career. Despite winning numerous Olympic gold medals, he often felt that he wasn’t doing enough. He would relentlessly scrutinize his performances, fixating on the smallest mistakes and disregarding his successes. This constant self-criticism eventually led to burnout, forcing him to step away from the sport to address his mental health.

Becoming Self-Led

Dressel’s turning point came when he decided to take a step back and work closely with his therapist. Through therapy, he began to connect with his inner critic from a place of self-compassion. His therapist helped him challenge and unburden the belief that being miserable was what made him great, guiding him to realise that he could still achieve high performance while being kinder to himself. This shift in perspective echoes the sentiment behind the well-known saying, “A happy swimmer is a fast swimmer,” and highlights the importance of mental well-being in reaching peak performance.

Understanding the deeper motivations behind his inner critic’s actions was a crucial part of this process. The inner critic often acts out of a protective instinct, driven by fears of failure or rejection. Dressel began to see that this part of him, while harsh, was ultimately trying to protect him from pain. By exploring these fears in therapy, he could identify the vulnerable, exiled parts of himself that the inner critic was guarding. Once these exiled parts were acknowledged and reintegrated into his sense of self, the inner critic no longer needed to be so rigid and could be unburdened from its role.

This approach reflects a key principle in IFS therapy: protective parts like the inner critic do their jobs because they see no other choice—it can feel like a matter of life and death. The challenge is to interrupt this mindset by inviting these parts to try something new, recognising that they are not alone and that there is a more compassionate way forward. By offering these parts, including the inner critic, kind and compassionate attention, Dressel was able to create a more balanced internal dialogue. This transformation didn’t just benefit Dressel’s mental health—it also enhanced his performance and overall experience in the sport, allowing him to maintain his drive for excellence without letting the critic dominate.

Conclusion

In this way, becoming self-led in the face of an inner critic isn’t about silencing that voice but about understanding and releasing it from its burdened role. IFS therapy can be particularly helpful for athletes who feel stuck or overwhelmed by their inner critic parts. By making room for all parts of oneself and offering them the compassion and attention they deserve, athletes like Dressel can not only improve their performance but also find greater joy and fulfilment in their sport.

Additionally, Dressel, like many athletes, initially feared that if he became “too good” or too kind to himself, he might lose the edge that his critical part provided. However, through the process of becoming self-led, he discovered that it’s not about losing this part but rather transforming it into a resource that can still contribute positively without dominating his internal dialogue.

Being self-led means having more choice in how to respond and react moving forward. By doing this inner work, athletes can pick the approach and response that best suits their personal needs and goals, allowing their parts, including the inner critic, to act as valuable resources rather than obstacles. This shift empowers athletes to not only excel in their performance but also to lead more balanced and fulfilling lives.